I like, and I just realized this now, that one can make their paragraphs into poetry using a wordprocessor (E.g. Open Office Writer) and the moving-margin ruler arrow. Squeezing your paragraph into 2 or 3 inches makes short, breathy, poemy lines. Change to a typewriter font for modernist poetry!

Edit: I just told my mum about my new system and she said that, actually, that’s not how to do poetry because she heard Lorna Crozier on the radio just yesterday saying that the real poets go over every word to make sure each is the most important. “But” I replied, “Did you notice the typewriter font I used?”

Ode to Lady Marie

Lady Marie was a spider who lived in my sink.
My dad drowned her with water from a bucket.
RIP Lady Marie!

I like my hair right now. It’s a little bit wavy around the front like I’m a classy dame from the nineteen-forties.

I have the X-Files on right now about the volcano? (No, I don’t remember it either. My skill of knowing how every X-Files ends within the first 30 seconds is, mysteriously, waning.) Anyway, it has an handful of people who actually went on to have their own TV shows. Or at least bigger parts. Like Josh from Westwing, who is crazy dude. I don’t know how this one ends, so I don’t know if he ends up dead crazy dude or anything. Or, no. Right. He ends up living, moving to Washington and getting some sort of important job there. Yeah.

Today at work was one of the days where I do everything wrong, but I only just noticed it now, so that’s probably ok.

When I got home tonight there were two ginger cookies left. I quickly remedied that.

I had a dream about you, Feebs. You won an Academy Award. But of course I wasn’t watching because they had announced what awards were coming up and I thought they sounded lame. I guess I didn’t know you were nominated.

At the same time, I was calling the winner of the best sound editing. He was just going up to collect his statue, though, and told me he was in the middle of something. Later on I must have stolen it from him because I was comparing it with yours. They were identical.

All of my pens are black and I don’t know why. I actually don’t like black pens. I like blue pens. My drawing pens are blue but that’s all. All of the pens hanging around and in my pen container on my desk are black. They just radiate towards me now, attracted by my negativity. The bastards.

I like blue pens because then I know that whatever it is I’m writing isn’t a photocopy.

Also, I like blue.

I have an old newspaper that I cut my toenails into. Now if I were David Bowie or J.T. this would fetch a good sum on ebay, probably. Instead, my mum is going to come over here as soon an she reads this and make me put it in the recycle pile.

I didn’t forget April 15, I just didn’t write about it here. On that day in particular I was having a very slow day at work. It was an evening shift. I’ll get mine back though in a couple of weeks when things are promising to be busy.

I got my hair cut but it’s still fluffy and wierd unless I do stuff to it, like apply product and swish it with my fingers. I’ll probably survive, and it’s good that I don’t have to blow dry it every day, but it just gets longer and longer… Which is when I can fit it into a pony tail so I’m happy enough at dance class, but in the rest of my life I look like a freeu-uu.

Mum: I made up your name so I should be able too–
Lindsie: Change it?
Mum: Spell it.
Lindsie: Spell it like “Zebra” and then pronounce it like “Lindsie” You can be all “It’s pronounced LINDSIE”.
Mum: I could do that, they do that now. It looks like “Tehhusifat” but it’s pronounced “Suzanne”.
Lindsie: Or it looks like “Zebra” but it’s pronounced “Orange”.

(The colour, not the fruit.)

“April sixth” also sounds nice.

“April seventh”
“April fourth”

Why did no one ever tell me that hot dog with cheese was soooooooo good? OK, probably because I can only have them under the strictest of circumstances, i.e. when I am at home, when there is soy cheese. But it adds a whole new dimension to an already delicious sandwich.

When I got out of my dance gear tonight I folded it up neatly and put it away. Just, without even thinking about it. Something is wrong.