Category Archives: Things

COVID-19 Journal: Entry #51

I have two things to remember today

COVID Thing I (Don’t) Want to Remember

Five.

One thing about COVID I don’t want to remember, but will document anyway is the feeling I get whenever there’s an announcement about new restrictions, like there was yesterday. I’d forgotten about this one. I was trying to classify the feeling: it’s sortof a mix of anxiety, sadness and panic. It’s been a while since I’ve felt that way but I think it’s been a while since we’ve had such a big change to things, or at least a change to things that affects me. Or at least, I haven’t been paying attention to the announcements as much anymore as I did during the first few months last year.

I spent some weepy time: first while watching Bonnie Henry announce them, and then after I shut her off I did laps of my apartment with my arms folded letting it digest. It’s not that I’m mad, or really upset. It’s just. Figuring things out for myself. And yesterday part of it was thinking that I was over reacting like this, since it’s been going on so long and I’ve been through it again. Maybe a little disappointment that more restrictions have to be enacted at this point. Maybe a little relieved? Annoyed for sure. But also resigned to follow along.

Circuit Breaker: temporary restrictions that prevent people from doing things to help help break the chain of COVID-19 transmission. It was two weeks before, now it’s three weeks. Two weeks is how long it takes to notice if someone has COVID? So making people stop seeing each other makes it so no one can pass it on. (I don’t feel like writing this better. If someone else wants to I’ll edit.) Numbers, hopefully, will go down.

COVID Thing I want to remember

Six.

There is still a woman banging a drum every night at 7 to celebrate essential medical workers in my neighbourhood. I finally saw her last night after near to a year she’s been doing it. She’s in the building diagonal from me. I’ve never seen her before and I don’t know why! It hasn’t been a year, but from last summer for sure. Sometimes she’s been joined by someone with a cow bell. Lately there’s been a rattle. On good nights they’re joined by a local dog barking along.

It’s glorious. And coincides with when I call Mum on Sundays and Wednesdays (or Thursdays if she has tap class).

I just know that at some point it’s just going to stop and I’m not even going to notice because I’ll start being out in the evening: going to plays, to dance class, out to dinner. I’m going to be at home one night, quiet and between things, and something will be missing, and I’m not going to know what it is.

COVID-19 Journal – Entry 50

Entry 50!

Pandemic Thing I want to Remember

4. I have a shoebox on my dresser where I keep my masks. I put it there early on, almost a year ago now, as soon as I I had a number of masks in my mask collection. “What am I going to do with these?” I asked myself. “Oh here’s a shoebox.”

Sometimes my masks are tidy and folded. Sometimes they are all just sort of there, but at least they have a spot. For a while they were all packaged in individual zip-lock bags. Now there are sortof bags stuffed in there for if if need one.

Clean masks only in the box. I have one I don’t clean every time hanging on a hook on the bathroom door. This is the yellow on that Kimberly made for me (or… made and then decided I should have and sent it to me!). It has a sturdy wire over the nose and is the only mask I have that doesn’t make my glasses foggy. I keep it separate to use around the apartment building for if I have to take out the garbage, or to fetch the mail or do my laundry, or go get something from the car. You know. Things around the apartment building. I should note there is a distinction between doing things around the apartment building and doing things everywhere else. When I go out anywhere- which is to say to the office or for groceries, I will stick in my contact lenses. This is because foggy glasses make me angry. Like, ragey angry, (and they have ever since I was a little girl). Contacts just eliminate the problem.

I’ve been hand washing my masks right when I get home. I wash my hands and then wash my mask right then.

I have a little laundry bag that I use for if I put them in the wash.

Writing this I notice that I’m bored of masks. But I will appreciate these details later.

I didn’t write about all the places I have to wear a mask (everywhere) (everywhere indoors, that is) (everywhere indoors that’s a public place grawwwwwwwwk). Today it was in dance class (noticeable and weird for the first few classes, but now, not so much- I found one that fits well so I don’t fidget with it the whole time.)

COVID-19 Journal Entry 47

My mental health coping mechanism throughout the winter months has been to write something every day. Almost every evening since November 1 I’ve written 700 or 1000 or 1300 words of a continuous narrative. The content of this is less important* than the fine sense of accomplishment I had every day having completed a little chunk of story. It’s been nice to have something to focus on, think about, construct. I did it if I was in a good mood, or a bad mood, or too tired.

It’s been mostly a free-writing, get to the next plot point, just get in those words kind of writing. I like doing this at night because I’m less likely to think about what I’m doing too much. I’ve been cozied up on my chair with my big light on, listening to CBC Music (although at first I tried having Corronation St. on at the same time. This was pure folly).

At the beginning of March I decided to keep writing until March 19, which is a Friday. On March 20 I will try reading what I’ve written because I haven’t done that yet and I’ve forgotten what I did in November. Spring time might be a time for editing, but it might be a time for putting it away to pull out later because it suuuuuuuuuuucks and writing is hard and I don’t know why I bother**.

I’m looking forward to reading it. I enjoy reading my own work. I can be quite clever sometimes.

* “content isn’t important” means it’s not fit for human consumption

**This is a stage of the writing process. I don’t mind admitting that I’m really good, and well practiced at this part.

Things I Want to Remember about the Pandemic

(A mostly truthful numbered list of memories)

Number Three: A contant stash of Daiya Cheese Shreds.

A year ago, at the beginning of the pandemic, I bought Daiya Cheese Shreds as “a treat”. I don’t usually buy cheese shreds because I can grate my own cheese. But it’s weird times! Let’s live it up a little. I decided this weekend on the way home from getting another couple of packages during my grocery run that a year of getting a thing doesn’t really constitute a treat anymore and that I don’t really need to buy them anymore. Probably.

Sublist: things I’ve learned about Daiya Cheese Shreds:

  • They have a higher melting point than the cheese I usually use, but do melt eventually
  • They are coated in an oily film. This is extremely apparent when you get near the end of the bag
  • Taste good
  • Taste good on pizza
  • Taste good in macca-chee (though I combine with my usual cheese)
  • Resealable bag it’s packaged in doesn’t stand up in the fridge and flop all over the place.
  • Go on sale a lot
  • Dry out into wee sticks if dropped on the floor and forgotten.
  • Good on a “melt” style sandwich.